5 Year Side Effects
The anniversary of my debut album and all I've learnt from her.
This month my debut album turns 5! It’s this year I’ve felt closest to the girl who wrote those songs. She was as fiery, complex and honest as I am now, just with a little more chaos ha!
I’ve become quite obsessed with the idea that in my songs lies my own fate, as if I have all the lessons written down from some faraway place. You know, Cathedral being about stumbling before the alter, Something American, an ex finding a new American girl, Love has all been done before etc. I’ve been joking on stage that I am going to start intertwining some positive manifestations in the next album ‘I’m really really rich… and really happy’ ;)
If not my own fate, then this album was certainly the most unfiltered version of me, I wrote every lyric and with the hands of David Baron and Simon Felice managed to make something I’m very proud of. It’s been the compass for this third record I’ve almost finished.
I wrestled with releasing a demo of an existing track or an unreleased one. Here’s one I wrote right in the middle of the album sessions. I stayed behind to write at the end of the day and ‘Heaven’ flew down.
Firstly, I haven't been commenting here or on ig lately, mostly because life's challenges become too great from time to time, but also because I've noticed a preponderance of male (particularly older male) commentary on all your sites, and as I find myself shuffled into that category, it seemed prudent to take a step back and allow room for other voices, especially female voices, to offer their invaluable feedback without getting overshadowed, you know? Secondly, fiery, complex, and honest as you were then and as you are now, to be able to wrench such unbridled creativity from the jaws of chaos remains a glorious characteristic all your own. You write and rewrite, sing and re-sing, play and replay each note of your life on a daily basis. You summon your own fate down from the heavens with genuine musical mojo like a brilliant ancient oracle. Those of us who connect with your creative expressions appreciate you more than words can say. And on that note I will return once again to quietude and simply listen. Thank you! :)
Saw you in Toronto on Sunday and I’m still thinking about the feeling you left me with! You really struck at my heart with your genuine spirit and soulfulness. It was so, so moving. I feel changed from that. I’m so happy I found the Substack to listen to these demos because they feel closer to that live rawness from Sunday. It is your art, so your decision: but I’d be so thrilled if you ever released a live album of just you and your guitar! Next time you tour I will be absolutely travelling for it, wherever you go next xx